We're going to start tonight by talking about a bombshell.
我们今天的节目先来聊一个重磅炸弹
Because, as I mentioned last night, Wikileaks and its leader, cyber-revolutionary
昨晚我提到过 维基解密及其创始人网络革命家
Julian Assange, promised to release documents that would be devastating to both presidential candidates.
朱利安·阿桑奇承诺说将会放出一些对两位总统候选人都不利的文件
Well, they finally made their announcement at 3:00 a.m. Last night,
终于 他们在昨天凌晨3点发出了通知
and you'll never guess what they released; nothing.
而你永远也猜不到他们说了什么 什么都没有
It was nothing! It was just nothing!
什么通知都没有 什么文件都没有
They taunted us for weeks about an October Surprise, the only surprise was that there was no surprise.
他们用十月惊喜勾了我们好几个星期 结果唯一的惊喜是没有惊喜
I guess, technically, they're right. I am surprised.
确实 他们是对的 我是被惊到了
This is how much of a bust this was—as of this morning, we've received as much exciting
这种做法真的不行 今天早上 我们收到的来自维基百科
election material from Wikileaks as we have from real housewives of Atlanta star NeNe Leakes.
的大选材料就跟我们从妮妮·历克斯的另类娇妻收到的一样多
Today Hillary responded to the big surprise by saying, look, I know this makes me look bad.
面对十月惊喜 今天希拉里的回应是 是的 我知道这件事对我的影响很不好
I'm very sorry—wait, he didn't release anything?
我很抱歉——等等 他什么也没说吗
Err, nothing. Forget it. Peace out.
额 没事了 忘了吧
What Assange actually said in his announcement was that
阿桑奇实际上在通知中说的是
he'll be releasing more documents in the next ten weeks.
他会在接下来10周内放出更多文件
Your announcement can't be that you have more announcements.
你的通知内容不可以是你还有更多通知啊

Imagine if Martin Luther king had said, I have a dream, and that dream is that
想想看 如果马丁·路德·金说 我有一个梦想 这个梦想就是在接下来十周内
I will have more dreams to be released every week for the next ten weeks.
每个星期我都会有更多的梦想
But people were really upset that Assange's announcement lacked substance.
但阿桑奇的通知内有任何实质性内容这件事引起了很多人的不满
Previously, the most upsetting part of Julian Assange was just his wizard mullet.
以前人们对朱利安·阿桑奇最不满的只是他的巫师装扮
I mean seriously, he looks like a guy who would try to have sex with you by performing a magic trick.
说真的 他看起来就像是准备变个戏法给你看好爬上你的床
We have to talk about third-party candidate Gary Johnson,
接下来我们聊聊第三党派候选人加里·约翰逊
who appeared on news shows this morning to explain his recent gaffes.
他今天早上在新闻上露面了 想解释下自己最近的乌龙
You might remember Gary best from not knowing what the city of Aleppo was
可能你对他最深的记忆点是他不知道阿勒颇是什么城市
or not being able to name one foreign leader.
以及无法说出任何一个外国领导人的名字
Well, he took the opportunity to clear the air and, boy, did he do a great job?
现在 他有了一个澄清的机会 那么 他表现的怎么样呢
First there was the Aleppo moment where you didn't know where Aleppo was,
首先是阿勒颇时刻 你当时不知道阿勒颇是哪里
and then you couldn't name your favorite foreign leader.
后来你又说不出自己最喜欢的外国领导人是谁
So what's going on with you and foreign affairs?
那么这些到底是怎么回事呢
How do you explain those moments?
你如何解释
Well, what is it, five days after the name your favorite foreign leader, I still can't do that—
实际上 在被要求说出最喜欢的外国领导人5天后 我还是说不出——
Five days later, he says he still can't name a foreign leader.
5天后 他说他还是说不出任何一个外国领导人的名字
But maybe we're being unfair.
可能是我们不太公平
We're asking a guy to name his favorite foreign leader,
我们要他说出自己最喜欢的外国领导人的名字
when there's not even any evidence the guy can comb his hair.
但其实他连自己的头发都梳不好
And this was just one appearance.
这还只是其中一次
Later on MSNBC, Gary Johnson said that his lack of geographical knowledge is a plus
然后在MSNBC 加里·约翰逊说他缺乏地理知识是好事
because you can't get into a war with a country you can't find on the map.
因为你不可能跟一个你在地图上都找不到的国家打仗啊
To which George W. Bush replied, actually.
对此 乔治·W·布什回应说 确实如此