日期:2019-05-15 16:55



Huge news today out of the tech world.
I don't know if you saw this, but Microsoft has purchased a networking website LinkedIn for $26.2 billion dollars.
不知道你们看过没有 说微软以262亿美金的价格收购了领英
Yeah, I know, I know. Big fan of that deal, right, Reg? Big fan.
我明白 你很关注这条新闻是吧雷吉 狂热粉丝
For those of you who don't know, LinkedIn is a website that helps you find a job.
为了防止有些人不知道这个 领英是一家帮人找工作的网站
Although I guess none of you know since you are watching a TV show in the middle of the night on a Thursday.
但我估计你们应该都没听说过 因为你们周四半夜都还在看我们节目
So you probably don't have a job.
But Microsoft purchased LinnedIn for $26 billion.
In other words, that's $1 for every LinkedIn invitation you delighted from your in box.
也就是说 你们从邮箱删掉的每一封领英的邮件都值一美元
But I'm going to say this, if bothering you with constant annoying e-mails is worth
但我觉得 如果不停的发骚扰邮件就能价值
$26.2 billion, my grandparents should be trillionaires.
262亿美金的话 我爷爷奶奶早都是兆亿富翁了
But while some websites are changing ownership, others are looking toward the future.
随着一些网站换主 其它网站也在考虑未来的发展方向
For example, some adult websites are attempting to broaden their audiences
比如 有些成人网站正在试图扩大受众
and have introduced the series of narrated porn videos for the visually impaired.
Yes, what indeed, Ma'am, you couldn't even help yourself, she just went what?
没错 这位女士 你是控制不住自己了吗 她刚特别大声地喊了句 你说啥
I mean It sounds like a great idea but it is kind of weird.
我觉得这一招听起来不错 但总感觉怪怪的
This now, we are going to show you, is an example that one website put out.
I promise you, this is 100% real.
我保证 绝对是真的
A white woman in a cheap-looking red power suit sits next to a tall lanky white middle aged man.
We move to an interview where we see a teen girl sitting in a bright white room.
下面画面放到一个年轻女孩正坐在一个明亮的白色房间里 好像是在接受采访
Cut to a side shot inside a car.
And a girl gets in, black hair, lots of makeup and squeezing a nice curvey figure into a tight blue dress.
进来了一个女孩 黑色头发 化着浓妆 身材凹凸有致 穿着一条紧身的蓝色裙子




Wow, or is it me or did it just get hot in here or what.
I mean this doesn't sound like a porn video so much as it sounds like the fall catalog for Anne Taylor loft.
我觉得这一点都不像黄片 反而像是安·泰勒的秋装预览
After hearing that you think blind people are like you know, I'm actually good with using my imagination.
听到这里 盲人说 我觉得我还是靠想象就行了
The final company ton making a big change to their product is Harley-Davidson who
announced this week that they plan to introduce quieter electric powered motorcycles within the next five years. Yeah.
Get ready to see motorcycle gangs brawling over who gets to plug in at the outlet outside a biker bar first.
I mean it may be better for the environment but ultimately this ruins the point of owning a Harley-Davidson.
这件事说起来确实对环境有好处 但这一决定却毁掉了拥有一辆哈雷摩托车的意义
Like it's like buying a Ferrari but putting a bumper sticker on the back that says I have a small penis.
But maybe this is what Harley is all about, baby. Do you know what I mean?
但可能这就是哈雷想要的吧 你们明白我意思吗
You put your leathers on.You find some big, bad motorcycle bitch to grab you from behind.
你套上皮衣 找个身材火爆的妞从后面搂住你的腰
You put the shades on and then are you just like all right, let's get out of here.
戴上墨镜 然后说 好了 出发