Ladies and gentlemen, as you know, on our show we always try to give you great jokes.
女士们先生们 大家都知道我们一直致力于写出最棒的笑话
We do, we try our best.
我们一直在尽力做到最好
The truth is I can think of no better joke than this one played on a Minnesota burger king
但我觉得 在明尼苏达州一家汉堡王上演的这件事比任何笑话都搞笑
where a prank caller faked a gas leak and convinced the employees to smash the windows of their own restaurant.
一个人弄了一出恶作剧 他给汉堡王的员工打电话说他们的天然气泄露 然后说服了这位员工打破了自家饭店的玻璃
Take a look.
一起来看
Workers at this fast food restaurant on north deal boulevard got a call from someone claiming to be with the fire department.
北约大道一家快餐店的员工接到自称是火警部门的电话
They told the manager they were detecting dangerous levels of gas
他们告诉经理说他们检测到这家餐馆空气中的的天然气含量严重超标
and if they didn't break the windows the restaurant would explode.
如果他们不打破玻璃餐馆将会爆炸
I mean this is the call that literally every burger king employee has been waiting for.
这通电话真的是所有汉堡王的员工期待已久的
You can just picture the phone call.
我们来想象一下

We need to you smash the windows of the burger king. Not a problem.
你需要打破汉堡王的窗户 没问题
Don't you want to know why? Doesn't matter, no need, see you later, bye.
你不问原因吗 没关系 不需要 待会儿见 拜拜
I mean if I worked at burger king I would answer every phone call with, do you need me to smash the windows?
如果我在汉堡王上班的话 我接到每个电话的第一句都会说 需要我打破玻璃吗
Also, who's falling for this?
而且 谁会上这种当啊
Like dangerous levels of gas at burger king sounds more like a taco bell problem to me.
跟我说汉堡王的天然气指数超标就跟跟我说塔可钟做坏了一样
Thank you. Thank you very much.
谢谢 谢谢
Now the news interviewed one of the employees who participated in smashing the windows.
有家新闻采访了参与打破玻璃的一位员工
Let's see what he has to say for himself.
我们看看他怎么说
He was one of the employees frantically breaking windows.
他就是参与砸破玻璃的员工之一
I guess I was a little scared.
我当时有点害怕
My other coworkers were doing it so I just fell in line.
我看到我同事都在砸我就也加入了
I think the biggest story here is that burger king doesn't drug test their employees.
我觉得汉堡王最大的问题时他们居然不给员工做毒瘾测试
I'm no detective
我不是什么侦探
but maybe the giggling dood in the hoodie who stuck around for the local news interview should be a suspect.
但我觉得那个穿着卫衣看着新闻咯咯笑的家伙是嫌疑犯
But look, criminals are people. They get hungry, right.
但是我们会发现 原来罪犯也是普通人 他们也会饿 不是吗
And sometimes that's why they commit the crime.
有时候这就是他们犯罪的理由
Check out what happens at this five guys burgers in Washington D.C.
来看看在华盛顿这家五汉汉堡发生的新闻
Surveillance captures captured a hamburglar sneaking a Washington D.C. five guys.
监控发现一个小偷偷偷溜进了华盛顿的这家五汉汉堡
He gets a fountain drink, and then he goes over to the grill, cooked a couple of cheeseburgers,
他喝了水 走到烤架边 烤了几个奶酪汉堡
he even toasted the buns, all while talking on the phone.
甚至还烤了面包 在坐着一起的同时 他还在一边打着电话
He broke in just to make a burger.
他溜进来的目的居然只是为了吃个汉堡
This guy—thank you, madam.
这个人——谢谢
This guy was like just because I didn't get hired at five guys that's not going to stop me from working at five guys.
这个人可能是觉得 虽然我没被五汉汉堡录用 但并不影响我在他们家工作呀
Perhaps the biggest crime in this story wasn't the crime at all because it was the news anchor's reaction to the whole thing. Take a look.
也许这个案子里最奇怪的不是犯罪本身 而是新闻主播对这条新闻的反应 一起来看
This happened last month. Police in D.C. just releasing that video asking for the public's help. Wow. SMH.
这件事发生在上个月 华盛顿警察才刚将这段视频放出以寻求当地居民 的帮助 哇 摇头
That's not what—no, the news anchor says SMH stands for shaking my head which is not what that newscaster was doing.
这不是——不对啊 把摇头几个字说出来并不是新闻主播应有的反应啊
Like you're on camera. You can literally shake your head.
你就在摄像机面前 你转动自己的头就好了
But that's like if I came out here and told you guys a joke and you just looked back at me and went lol.
这就像我站在这儿 给你们讲了个笑话 然后你们看着我说 大笑
But burger king and five guys weren't the only restaurants victimized recently.
汉堡王和五汉汉堡并不是最近唯二被犯罪分子盯上的
A waffle house in north Carolina was the subject of an attempted robbery
北加利福尼亚一家华夫饼屋最近发生了类似的事
when a man with a fake ak-47 asked for everything in the register
一名男子拿着一把假的ak-47向该店员工索要所有现金
and he was stopped by a 70 year old Vietnam war veteran with a cane.
最后被一名70岁的越战老兵拿着棍子阻止了
And I don't know about you but an ak-47 seems like overkill for robbing a waffle house.
不知道你们怎么看 我反正是觉得用ak-47抢华夫饼屋有点大材小用了
I'm never sure but you can probably rob a waffle house with just a stern tone.
我觉得抢华夫饼屋用块坚硬点的石头应该就行了 不过我也不敢肯定
You know, give me the money.
把钱交出来
Sure, I'm not going to be a hero.
行 我可不想做什么英雄
Here you go. Here you go.
给你 给你
But why would you pick the waffle house to rob?
我想不通的是 为什么要抢华夫饼屋呢
There's nothing on the menu that costs more than $2.
他们家菜单上就没有超过两美元的东西
Here's everything, $14.
全都在这儿了 14快
We had a huge day at the waffle house today. Here you go.
我们今天生意还不错 你拿走吧
But I have got to say, this guy is really inspiring.
但不得不说的是 这个人的行为很能激励人心
He really is, to take out an armed robber at the age of 70 is incredible.
真的 拿着武器对准一名70岁的老人也是需要勇气的
When someone cares that much about a waffle house, that's when a waffle house becomes a waffle home.
当有人这么在意一家华夫饼屋的时候 这家店就应该被称为华夫饼之家了