Chapter 6 Seek and Speak Your Truth
第6章 真实地表达自己的想法与情绪
My friend Betsy Cohen was pregnant with her second child when her toddler, Sam, became curious about where the baby was in her body.
我的朋友贝齐·科恩怀第二个孩子的时候，正在蹒跚学步的大儿子萨姆开始对她肚子里的宝宝感到好奇。
"Mommy," he asked, "are the baby's arms in your arms?"
“妈妈，”他问，“宝宝的手在你的手里吗？”
"No, the baby is in my tummy," she replied.
“不是，宝宝在妈妈肚子里。”
"Are the baby's legs in your legs?"
“宝宝的脚在你的脚里吗？”
"No, the whole baby is in my tummy."
“不是，整个宝宝都在妈妈肚子里。”
"Really, the whole baby is in your tummy? Are you sure?"
“真的吗？整个宝宝都在你肚子里？你肯定？”
"Yes, the whole baby is in my tummy."
“是的，整个宝宝都在我的肚子里。”
"Then, Mommy, what's growing in your butt?"
“那……妈妈，你的屁股怎么变大了？”
This kind of honesty is common from children and virtually unheard of from adults.
这样直白的语言通常只有小孩子才能说出来。
As kids grow up, we teach them to be polite, watch what they say, not hurt others' feelings.
随着孩子逐渐长大，我们教会他们有礼貌，注意言行，多考虑别人的感受。
This is not a bad thing.
这不是坏事。
As a former pregnant "whale," I'm glad that most people keep some observations to themselves.
曾因怀孕变成“巨鲸”的我很高兴看到大多数人都能保留自己的判断，
But as we learn to speak appropriately, we lose something in authenticity.
但在我们学习如何得体地说话的同时，似乎也遗失了内心的真诚。
Authentic communication is not always easy, but it is the basis for successful relationships at home and real effectiveness at work.
做到真诚地交流并不容易，但它是家庭和睦、工作高效的基础。
Yet people constantly back away from honesty to protect themselves and others.
然而，人们有时为了保护自己或别人，通常不会坦率直言。
This reticence causes and perpetuates all kinds of problems:
这种过于谨慎、患得患失的态度会不断引发各种各样的弊端，
uncomfortable issues that never get addressed, resentment that builds, unfit managers who get promoted rather than fired, and on and on.
比如问题得不到解决，日积月累的埋怨，不公平的晋升等。