Hi, I'm James Corden.
大家好 我是詹姆斯·柯登
And I'm Josh Duhamel.
我是乔什·杜哈明
You're probably looking at us right now and thinking
也许你现在看着我们 想
wow, what a couple of amazing looking guys.
这两个人真是风度翩翩啊
And you'd be right. We've got it all.
你说得对 我们就是这样英气逼人
Great hair, cool clothes, perfect faces.
利落的发型 帅气的外衣 完美的脸庞
We even smell amazing when we aren't wearing colon.
我们不穿这种面料时 连气味都魅力十足
But there's one thing that took us to the next level, gorgeous and absolutely irresistible.
但有一样恭喜能让我们更加完美 从有魅力变成完全无法抗拒
And that was becoming a dad!
那就是成为父亲
We love these guys and women love hot dads.
我们爱孩子们 女人爱性感的奶爸们
We can't take advantage of it because unfortunately, we're married.
但我们不能利用这一点去图谋什么 因为很不幸 我们都结婚了
Don't say unfortunately.
不要说“不幸”
We can't take advantage of it because fortunately, we're married. Right.
我们不能利用这一点去图谋什么因为我们已经很幸运地结婚了 这样才对

I love you, honey.
亲爱的 我爱你
I love you too, Fergie, I mean, my wife.
我也爱你 菲姬 我是说 老婆
That's why Josh and I created 1-555-Rent-My-Kid.
于是乔什和我就创办了1-555-租孩儿活动
For a small fee, you can rent our kids to help you find a girlfriend.
只需要花费一点点钱 你就能租用我们家小孩 然后找到女朋友
It totally works.
绝对有效
But don't take our word for it.
眼见为凭
Before 1-555-Rent-My-Kid, I couldn't even get a date.
在参加1-555-租孩儿之前 根本没有人和我约会
Women mocked me, laughed me.
大家都嘲笑我
They wouldn't give me the time of day.
他们说不愿意跟我一起浪费时间
But thanks to Josh and James Dads' system, I've never been more popular.
但是幸亏有了乔什和詹姆斯的这个活动 我从来没有这么受欢迎过
Pretty soon, I won't even need to use 1-555-Rent-My-Kid.
很快 我就完全不用依赖1-555-租孩儿热线了
Seriously, I got a girl pregnant. Yay.
真的 还让一个女生怀孕了 耶
Is it that easy to impress the ladies you've got be kidding me.
真的这么容易就能让女生注意到吗 你开玩笑的吧
Exactly. Why wait. Call 1-555-Rent-My-Kid today.
千真万确 还在等什么 现在就打1-555-租孩儿热线
And if either he or his wife pick up the phone, just hang up, and call back again in five minutes.
如果接电话的是他或者他妻子 挂掉过五分钟再打
They are not bored with this. Not even a little bit.
他们绝对不会不耐烦 绝对不会
Who are we not going to tell?
这件事不能告诉谁
We're not telling mummy or no sweets or toys for you.
不能告诉妈妈 否则糖果和玩具就都没了哦
I love these guys.
我爱死他们了
We're going to be rich! Rich!
我们要发财啦 发财啦