(单词翻译:单击)
You do not need to apply a scientific method to know that having friends is extremely beneficial.
有朋友的好处无需你用科学方法进行验证。
Besides the developmental benefits, having friends opens the pathway for emotional support
除了发展益处，朋友还能为你铺开通往情感支撑的道路
from making each other laugh to consoling each other through hard times.
从逗彼此开心到艰难时期的相互安慰。
Emotional exchange is the foundation of the good friendship.
情感交流是良好友谊的基础。
However, there are some friendships where one person gives while the other person takes.
然而，在一些友谊中总是一方付出一方索取。
Not surprisingly bad friendships are quite common.
这并不奇怪，糟糕的友谊相当普遍。
A simple google search using the term 'bad friends', quickly generates 324 million results.
仅用谷歌搜索关键词‘糟糕的友谊’，马上就能搜出3.24亿个结果。
From published articles to sporty t-shirts, the acknowledgement and commonality of bad friendships is obvious.
从出版文章到运动T恤，糟糕友谊的认知和共性非常明显。
While not condoning different kinds of friendships？
不纵容不同类型的友谊？
here are some ways to recognize if you are in a toxic relationship, either the taker or giver and how to change it.
如果你正身处一场糟糕友谊之中，以下几种方法能够帮助辨认付出者和索取者并帮助改变这种情况。
While searching the web, the three of the most common types of bad friends are:
当搜索网页时，有三种类型的糟糕友谊最常见：
The unaware. Sometimes people say or do things without thinking,
无意者。有时人们会不经思考地说话做事，
other times people treat others badly because they grew up in a household that taught them misinformed ways.
有时人们没有好好对待别人，这是因为他们就生长于这样的家庭中，家长并未正确的教导他们。
As a result some people are unaware that they are bad friends, simply because they don't know any better.
因此一些人没有意识到自己是糟糕的朋友，因为他们完全不知道。
These people have an opinion about every part of your life from whom you should date to what college courses you should take.
这些人对你生活的每个部分都会提出意见，从你应该和谁约会到你该选哪些专业课。
The unaware believes that they are being a good friend because they have taken the time to analyze your life for you.
无意者认为他们是你的挚友，因为他们为你花费时间分析你的生活。
The unaware will cross boundaries very often even after you reinforce that you do not want them to cross certain boundaries.
无意者会经常越界，即使你强调自己并不希望他们越过某种界限。
Unfortunately the unaware has a strong compulsion to inject themselves into every part of your life
不幸的是，无意者会强迫自己融入到你生活的每个部分，
believing that they have a better perspective of your life than you do.
他们相信他们甚至比你自己更了解你的生活。
The users. The user has a strong tendency to gravitate toward people who are more than often willing to help them.
利用者。利用者们有着很强的受吸引倾向，他们容易被那些更愿意帮助他们的人所吸引。
In fact most of the time, the users will dominate conversations or will only contact you when it's convenient.
事实上，大多数情况下利用者们都会主导对话或者仅在他们方便的时候才联系你。
The user has very little boundaries and is very in tune to certain people who one love to help or two have a hard time saying no.
利用者几乎没有界限，他们和那种喜欢帮忙或不懂拒绝的人非常合拍。
As a result, the user exploits their friend boil tea and desire to be needed.
因此，利用者利用他们朋友被需要的渴望指使他们沏茶倒水。
The fakers. Fakers are the most toxic friends you can have,
伪装者。伪装者是三种中最有毒的朋友，
simply because the entire friendship is reliant on their personal gain.
因为整场友谊都依赖于他们的个人私利。
Fakers have a tendency of having an overly inflated ego with a fragile sense of self
伪装者有极度膨胀自我和脆弱自我感知倾向。
As such, fakers garner friendships with people who they gain less than themselves.
同样假装者会和那些所取比自己少的人交朋友。
For example, a faker will defend someone who they deem to be less attractive than them to draw more attention from others.
例如，假装者会保护那些他们认为没自己有吸引力的人，为的是吸引其他人的关注。
Fakers have no boundaries and will become defensive if you call them out on their malicious behavior.
假装者没有界限，如果你指责他们的恶意行为，他们会变得具有防御性。
In the end the friending of faker is toxic and can result in negative emotional turmoil.
假装者的友谊是有毒的还会导致负面情感混乱。
Of the three types of bad friends mentioned, the unaware are the only people that you may want to consider keeping as friends.
以上提到的三种类型的糟糕友谊中，无意者是唯一你可能会考虑维持友谊的那一类人。
The users and fakers however, are emotionally toxic relationships that need to be severed.
而利用者和假装者都是需要被割断的有毒友谊。
Severing a friendship can sometimes be arduous and similar to a breakup.
切断友谊有时会很艰难，它和分手有点像。
Severing a friendship requires one to be direct.
割断友谊需要一方直截了当。
If at all possible, try to meet face-to-face in the neutral location,
如果可能，试着在一个中立的位置和对方面对面，
use this as an opportunity to set or reinforce your boundaries with an unaware friend, so that you two can remain friends.
利用这次机会和无意者设立或巩固你的界限，这样你俩还能做朋友。
For your friend who is either a user or a faker,
如果你的朋友是利用者或假装者，
this is your opportunity to let them know that you no longer see them as a friend,
这一次就让他们知道你不想再和他们做朋友了，
and that this is the last time you will be spending time together.
这也是你最后一次和他们相处了。
You can tell them how you've been hurt by certain situations
你可以告诉他们，你被这段友谊所伤
but do not be surprised if the user or the faker does not respond sympathetically or with remorse.
但是如果利用者或假装者毫无同情或懊悔，你也别惊讶。
Building a friendship is tough but maintaining a friendship is far more difficult.
建立一段友谊很艰难，但维系友谊更难。
Although being in a friendship puts you in a vulnerable position,
虽然友谊将你置于一个易受伤害的位置，
sometimes being in these positions teach us more about life and about ourselves.
有时处于这些位置也让我们更加了解生活更加了解自己。
However, if you are going to take the chance of being vulnerable with another person,
然而如果你准备和别人开始一段友谊，
please make sure that that person respects and reciprocates that vulnerability.
请确保这个人尊重这种易受伤害性并愿意彼此取暖。
Do you recognise yourself or somebody you know as one of these types?
你觉得自己是或你认识的其他人是三种中的一种么？
Let us know how you dealt with it in the comments below.
请在下方评论留言告诉我们你是如何处理的。
