Chapter 30
第三十章
But the bed I made up for myself was sufficiently uncomfortable to give me a wakeful night, and I thought a good deal of what the unlucky Dutchman had told me. I was not so much puzzled by Blanche Stroeve's action, for I saw in that merely the result of a physical appeal. I do not suppose she had ever really cared for her husband, and what I had taken for love was no more than the feminine response to caresses and comfort which in the minds of most women passes for it. It is a passive feeling capable of being roused for any object, as the vine can grow on any tree; and the wisdom of the world recognises its strength when it urges a girl to marry the man who wants her with the assurance that love will follow. It is an emotion made up of the satisfaction in security, pride of property, the pleasure of being desired, the gratification of a household, and it is only by an amiable vanity that women ascribe to it spiritual value. It is an emotion which is defenceless against passion. I suspected that Blanche Stroeve's violent dislike of Strickland had in it from the beginning a vague element of sexual attraction. Who am I that I should seek to unravel the mysterious intricacies of sex? Perhaps Stroeve's passion excited without satisfying that part of her nature, and she hated Strickland because she felt in him the power to give her what she needed. I think she was quite sincere when she struggled against her husband's desire to bring him into the studio; I think she was frightened of him, though she knew not why; and I remembered how she had foreseen disaster. I think in some curious way the horror which she felt for him was a transference of the horror which she felt for herself because he so strangely troubled her.
但是我给自己安设的床铺却很不舒服，整整一夜我也没睡着，只是翻来覆去思索这个不幸的荷兰人对我讲的故事。勃朗什·施特略夫的行为还是容易解释的，我认为她做出那种事来只不过是屈服于肉体的诱惑。她对自己的丈夫从来就没有什么感情，过去我认为她爱施特略夫，实际上只是男人的爱抚和生活的安适在女人身上引起的自然反应。大多数女人都把这种反应当做爱情了。这是一种对任何一个人都可能产生的被动的感情，正象藤蔓可以攀附在随便哪株树上一样。因为这种感情可以叫一个女孩子嫁给任何一个需要她的男人，相信日久天长便会对这个人产生爱情，所以世俗的见解便断定了它的力量。但是说到底，这种感情是什么呢？它只不过是对有保障的生活的满足，对拥有家资的骄傲，对有人需要自己沾沾自喜，和对建立起自己的家庭洋洋得意而已；女人们禀性善良、喜爱虚荣，因此便认为这种感情极富于精神价值。但是在冲动的热情前面，这种感情是毫无防卫能力的。我怀疑勃朗什·施特略夫之所以非常不喜欢思特里克兰德，从一开始便含有性的诱惑因素在内，可是性的问题是极其复杂的，我有什么资格妄图解开这个谜呢？或许施特略夫对她的热情只能刺激起，却未能满足她这一部分天性，她讨厌思特里克兰德是因为她感到他具有满足她这一需求的力量。当她拼命阻拦自己丈夫，不叫他把思特里克兰德带回家来的时候，我认为她还是真诚的；她被这个人吓坏了，尽管她自己也不知道为什么要怕他。我也记得她曾预言过思特里克兰德会带来灾难和不幸。我想，她对思特里克兰德的恐惧是她对自己的恐惧的一种奇怪的移植，因为他叫她迷惑不解，心烦意乱。