艾伦的单人脱口秀展示
日期:2017-09-12 07:57

(单词翻译:单击)

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People are always curious when they run into me when I'm out in the world and they ask me questions.
生活中人们总是会很好奇的跑过来问我一些问题
And they always ask me if it's hard to stay focused when I'm doing this show, when I'm talking to guests?
他们经常问我做节目的时候或者跟嘉宾聊天的时候保持专注会不会很困难
And it's sometimes, I'm tired so yeah sometimes, but not really because I'm less with that talent of staying focused.
有时候挺难的,我很疲累所以偶尔会走神,不过其实不是啦,是因为我天生不太能集中注意力
Not everybody has that talent but I have-
这个天赋可不是人人都有的哦,不过我有...
Razor sharp focus, which remains me, I need to buy razor blades. I'm so glad I mention that.
锋利的注意力,哦我想起来了,我得买剃须刀片,幸好我提到了

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You know what else I need? Is apples. I need apples.
你们知道我还要买啥吗?苹果,我要苹果
And bread, and corn. I love corn. Do you like corn? Yeah.
还有面包、玉米,我喜欢玉米,你们喜欢吗?嗯
I love corn. Every type of corn, it doesn't matter.
我超爱玉米,任何类型的玉米都喜欢
I love corn on the cob, cream corn, can corn, I like popcorn.
我喜欢玉米棒、奶油玉米、罐头玉米,喜欢爆米花
I don't like when it gets in your teeth, popcorn gets in your teeth sometimes,
但是它塞到牙就不好了,爆米花有时候会塞牙
and like two days later, you're like, I had popcorn two days ago.
两天后你会发现:哦我这儿还有两天前的爆米花呢
I don't like when you microwave it and it burns and you smell it in the house and it reminds you like, you're a bad cook.
我也不喜欢你用微波炉加热它的时候把它烤糊了,然后满屋子都是爆米花的味道,提醒着你:你厨艺差极了!
I know that, yeah I don't need being reminded.
我知道自己厨艺差啦,不需要被提醒
By you the microwave or the smoke detector. Which you know what, I need batteries for my smoke detector.
不用你提醒,也不用微波炉或烟雾探测器提醒sJJ4Is2evMj(J。我又想起来了,我得给烟雾探测器买电池了
I just remembered, because it just went off like 3 am.
我刚想起来,因为它是半夜三点没电的
It never goes off in the middle of the day. It's always like 3 am.
大白天的时候它绝对不会断电,只会在半夜三点
And then you're wandering around the house going which room is it in?
然后你就在屋子里游荡,它在哪个屋里呢?
Because it's dark and you don't want to turn lights on to wake up, so you're just kind of trying to feel out which room it's in.
因为太黑了看不见你又不想开灯把自己弄醒,所以你就凭感觉猜它是在哪个房间
They should have a little voice that says living room, living room, living room, so you know.
它们应该带一个细小的声音可以告诉你在起居室,在起居室,在起居室,这样你就知道了
Why is it called a living room by the way, that's so weird.
为什么它叫起居室呢,太奇怪了
I can understand bedrooms, bedrooms have beds in it, bathrooms have baths, dining rooms have you know dining tables.
我能理解“bedrooms(卧室)”是因为里面有床,“bathrooms(浴室)”是因为里面有浴缸,“dining rooms(餐厅)”是因为里面有餐桌
But a living room you don't just live in a living room, you know. You know.
但是“living room”,你又不是只住在“living room”里面,是吧
Unless you live in a studio apartment. Which is a weird name because.
除非你是住在一个“studio apartment(小型公寓里)”,这个名字也很奇怪
Studio apartment sounds like you're recording an album.
“studio apartment”听起来很像是你在录专辑
Or shooting a movie but you're not, you're just sleeping next to the kitchen is what you're doing, you know?
或者是在拍电影,但其实并不然,你只不过是睡在厨房旁边而已,对吧?
And that phrase if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
那句谚语“如果你受不了热,那就离开厨房”
That doesn't apply here cuz you're next to the kitchen.
这句话在这儿也不适用,因为你就紧挨着厨房
And you're, I can't. I'm sleeping here, you know?
你会想,我走不了!47GUT_fx9(&qK。我在这儿睡呀
Or that the saying a picture is worth 1,000 words. Which is true unless the picture's out of focus and then it's worth zero words.
或者那句谚语“一图胜千字”,确实如此,不过如果你的图片是没有聚焦的,那它可就一字不值了
I forgot what I was talking about, but anyway, let's just dance.
我都不知道我在说啥了,管它呢,开始跳舞吧

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